A Moving Foot Gathers No Moss

Look out world! Pretty Girl is one and she's walking!!! She is so cute, her whole body just grooves when she walks. It is so cool, and she gets the biggest smile on her face when you open up your arms to accept her. It just melts my heart. Life is good--for me at least. Her brother on the other hand, has a lot more to handle now because now, wherever he is and whatever he's into, she's right there on his level in the blink of an eye. And she's almost as big as he is!

She's not the only one with moving feet though. The J Man has picked up some more dance moves. He is quite the dancer. He has been ever since he was in the womb. Whenever I would listen to music, he would wake up and start moving. There's his "Signature" move of shaking his head back and forth (which he has done since he was just a few months old). He's got the "Yeah" move of throwing his head front and back while saying "Yeah, yeah, yeah" repeatedly. Let's not forget the classic "Spin and Hammer" where he spins and does a hammering motion with both arms. And now, he has added "Fancy Footwork" to his repertoire where he moves his feet a few inches at a time in quick succession.

The boy absolutely loves music. Add video and it's even better. The day my hard drive crashed and I could no longer play music videos for the boy had to be the second longest three day span I've had in a long time. He used to only like Novi Ierusalim, but now he's really taken with Go Fish and Miley Cyrus. You should see the smile he gets on his face when he sees her. I was really hoping he would be a little older than two when he first started to get interested in women. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Hiccups and Other Hilarities

Well, if you've ever wondered just what I sound like, you can now listen to me hiccup on YouTube. That's right for your listening pleasure, you too can listen to me hiccup and gasp for air. Ha ha ha. I giggle every time I think about it.

Speaking of funny memories and thoughts... Do you remember when the J Man called me "slow?" Well, this morning I was in charge of getting both kids up because Double O Daddy has the flu. While I was getting the changing station stocked and Double O his ibuprofin, the J Man was in his crib repeatedly saying, "Mommy's slow. Mommy's slow." Oh me. Everyone's a critic! It got to the point that I replied, "Mommy is NOT slow! For all I have to do, I'm a blooming miracle worker!" Of course I said it with a slight giggle in my voice. Ah kids.

Another thing that makes me giggle is thinking about the nap I tried to take on Monday. Double O Daddy was in bed in the guest room sick, both kids were in their rooms playing, and I was trying to take a much needed nap. Well, as I was nodding off, I awoke to the sound of the J Man saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" And I was blissfully beginning to dream about removing the crusties from the J Man's nose too. Ah well. So much for napping.

Faster Than a Speeding Bullet, More Powerful Than a Locomotive, and Funnier than a Comedian...

Ah, kids do say the darnedest things, don't they? The J Man, now two years old, is beginning to have that linguistic explosion that a friend told me his son recently went through. In a previous post, I mentioned that he has named the vacuum cleaner "I-so-po." Well, he has now named one of his trains "A-pa-ka-zar." How did he come up with that? Any way, when he says words like clock, it comes out like "ka-law" because he hasn't quite mastered following a consonant with an "l" yet, and he often neglects to add the last consonant or he adds a vowel sound after the last consonant. So, dog becomes "dog-uh." Enough linguistics! The other day at dinner, he was saying, "Puh-lough" (rhyming with plow). I could not for the life of me figure out what he was saying. Over the course of the meal, the word transformed into "buh-low" (rhyming with low). Then it hit me. When I give him his first several bites, I blow on the food to cool it off. "Blow!" I exclaimed in triumph. He smiled because I had finally understood. Then I proceeded to apologize. I said, "I'm sorry Honey, sometimes it just takes Mommy a while." The next thing out of his mouth was, "Suh-low" which is how he says "slow." I about lost it. Who knew the boy had such a sense of humor at two?! But he is right. I am suh-low, especially since I am a dabbler in linguistics. I have no problem with so many foreign languages, but give me toddler-speak, and I'm lost.

Ode to a Mom
There once was a woman named Flo
Who kept running around on the go
She had so much to do
'Cause her son just turned two
E'en in fast mode she still was too slow

A Free and Easy Way to Feed the Hungry

My Mother-in-law recently came to visit. While she was here, she told me about a website that gives free food to the hungry. When you visit the site, you click on a button. Once you've clicked, they donate a cup of food to the hungry. You don't have to give your name, email address, postal address or anything--just click the button. It's free, it's easy, and best of all, it gives a cup of food to hungry people. The only caveat is that you can only click the button once per day. So spread the word. Here's the website: thehungersite.com.

Stronger Than a Locomotive

The J Man is due to turn two this month; then I can no longer say I have two under two. He has been quite busy lately. If he's not looking at his books, he's busy throwing things or beating his head against something. Well, yesterday it was me. He was upset and beating his head against both the floor and the wall, so I tried to calm him down and soothe him. It didn't work. He reared his head back and cracked me in the head. Double O Daddy grabbed the boy and I grabbed my face and fell to the ground. My glasses were bent and my head was in excruciating pain. (And I thought labor was bad!) Fortunately the J Man was OK. I, on the other hand, am not. It has been over 24 hours and my head still hurts. At least my vision is back to normal. OK, so when the boy grows up a little more, we're signing him up for football.

Also as you probably know, the J Man is quite the little MacGyver/Houdini. Yesterday, while I was waiting for Double O Daddy to get home from work, J Man was in his room, Pretty Girl was in the family room, and I was with her nursing my wounds trying to make sure I could still see straight. Well, when Double O went upstairs to check on the boy, he discovered the J Man standing in our bedroom fine as could be and the gate (the one he had installed across the boy's bedroom door) leaning against the door frame. It had been removed and set back up... by the boy! OK, so not only did he crack me in the head without injuring himself, but he also removed a tightly installed child-proof gate from across his doorway. Well at least he's got his own theme music. *MacGyver music can be heard softly in the background...*

More Things I Never Thought I'd Say

Since I have become a parent, I have said so many things that I never imagined I would ever need to say. I mentioned some in a previous post. Well, here are the latest, and please keep in mind that Pretty Girl is 7 months old and the J Man is going on 23 months old.

1) "Don't de-pants your brother!" (Pretty Girl loves the J Man, so whenever he's within arms reach, she lunges at him and usually gets his pants.)

2) "Stop grabbing my _____." (It's not that the word itself is bad, it's just I'm too embarrassed to type it.)

3) "Don't throw the scooter into the kitchen!"

4) "Stop letting your brother drag you around the family room floor!" (Pretty Girl had lunged at her brother, grabbed on to his pants, and was not letting go. So, when he tried to get away, he began to drag her around the floor before I could get to them.)

5) "Now the key to good kissing is to not bite the other person's lips."

6) "Don't palm your sister's head!"

7) "Stop licking my knees!"

Yes, parenting is definitely an adventure into the unknown and the unthinkable. But I do love it.

Limericks Anyone?

Ok, it's time for a new post. And wouldn't you know, I'm on a limerick kick. So, here goes...

First, some Zelenka ones...

There is a great doctor named Radek
Who keeps his boss Rodney in check
He takes Rodney's rap
Throws it back in his lap
Without him old Rodney'd wreak havoc


For Pookey:
Zelenka's a brilliant young Czech
Who finds Rodney a pain in the neck
I can't blame him there
And I do love his hair
To Atlantis for him I would trek


There was on Atlantis a smartie
Who'd rather play chess than to party
He's sweet and not terse
But in Czech he would curse
When dealing with ninnies like Rodney


For some other Gate Worlders...

Now Pookey has such a cute name
Pyromania, apparently her fame
She's a perky young girl
Who perused the Gate World
While her kitchen went up with a flame


There was a Gate Worlder from Belgium
Who posted that he thought it was dumb
To put out a fire
With footwear attire
And turned his nice sneakers to gum gum


There was a commander named Sil
Showed intelligence, promise, and skill
She took her inhaler
And that really made her
Like Wile E. upon earthquake pills


And finally, some miscellaneous ones.

There was a young woman named Bess
Who wore a pink polka-dot dress
Though her husband complained
In the dress she remained
Divorce lawyers took care of the rest


There was a young piper named Fyffe
Who carried a scabbard and knife
In error one day
The knife he did play
And it most nearly cost him his life


There once was a seamstress named Sue
Whose thread all mysteriously turned blue
She began mending jeans
'Til the holes were unseen
Now seriously, what else could she do?


There was a duck hunter named Joe
Whose finger was terribly slow
His friend told him to fire
So he aimed so much higher
But still shot his buddy below.


I'm crazy, I'm wacko, I'm nuts
No ifs, no ands, and no buts
I went off my rocker
No books in my locker
And I'm spinning around like a klutz


There once was a girl from Paris
She stayed in the bathroom 'til 3
When asked, "What'd you do?
Are things alright with you?"
She simply replied, "Mais, oui oui!"


Ok, I'm done... for now.

If you actually made it to this point in the post, you either like my limericks or you're a masochist. If the former is the case, feel free to visit Stargate LIMERICKS!!! and Zelenka / Nykl Fans where you can find these and more.