Who Would Have Guessed?

As you know, I often refer to my son as a super hero.  Although lately, he's acted more like a super villain.  Yes, it's the terrible twos (and almost threes).  Well, I was somewhat thinking of Pretty Girl as a side kick until she developed enough of her own likes and idiosyncrasies to develop her own identity, and then I would think of a cool personale.  Well, the J Man beat me to it.  My jaw about hit the floor when he said, "[Pretty Girl]'s CIA."  Where on earth did he get that?  Talk about your under cover... who would have guessed?  Instead of a femme fatale, I suppose she'd be a bebe fatal.  But I really don't think she would be a very good baby agent...  I know her secret downfall.  Whenever she's acting up, fussing, or doing something she shouldn't, all I have to do is take one of the kids' little toy cars and start running the wheels over her back.  She instantly stops what she's doing and all is right with the world.  Now, if I could just find the boy's kryptonite...


More funny things we've said...
1. "Don't go up the stairs feet first!"
2. When Pretty Girl ran up the stairs unbeknownst to me (who was downstairs and supposed to be watching her), Double O Daddy (who was upstairs) said, "She found the next gear."  To which I harriedly replied, "What, ninja?"

Fire!

Ah, the joys of motherhood...  It's great seeing the J Man and Pretty Girl grow up.  The J Man has been spouting his alphabet for the past several weeks now.  The only thing is that he keeps omitting his "L"s.  I call him a walking Christmas card.  (Noel, get it?  I know, that was bad.  Anyway...)  As for Pretty Girl, well, she is picking up several new words a day.  They don't all come out as well as "cookie," but we're working on it.  For instance, the word "pistachio" comes out as "pia-ci-O."  The word "vacuum" simply comes out as "cuum."  I guess that's a vacuum that was not made in Virginia.  (Sorry, that was bad too.)  The word that took me the longest to understand however was "fire."  Whenever she said it, I wondered where she had gotten that word, especially since she had never really seen fire.  Then I saw her point.  Duh!  She wanted her pacifier.  Don't I feel dumb! 

Oh, and here's one more thing I didn't know before I had kids:  Mayonnaise is quite an effective tool at keeping kids' hair out of their eyes.  Face palm!  Lesson: be careful what you put on a child's plate.  It is bound to end up in his or her hair.

I sure do love my kids!

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries...

Ah, summer...  Summer for many means heat, popsicles, and all the fruit you can eat.  Here, we've been feeding the J Man and Pretty Girl all the fruit they could possibly want... strawberries, grapes, blueberries, dark cherries, watermelon...  (Oh, and just a side note to anyone else out there who might want to do this with their kids:  Don't be surprised to find a Picasso in the Huggies after the fruit-fest has started.  Wow!)  Even I have eaten so much watermelon that I couldn't stand up straight for hours afterwards.  (And yet believe it or not, I've actually gained weight.  What's up with that?!)  Oh well.  The other night as I was getting ready to head upstairs for bed, Double O Daddy was doing dishes (bless his heart!) and said he thought there was a piece of silverware in the disposal.  I paused.  I knew it couldn't be me because I am so very careful with silverware, sippy cup filters, and the like.  Upon further investigation, he exclaimed that it was cherry pits.  Oops.  That was me.  "For future reference," he said whilst I tried to don a failing innocent look, "cherry pits don't go down the garbage disposal."  Oh me.  I started to laugh hysterically.  I think it was the fatigue.  (I did say I was going to bed, didn't I?)  Then I asked (still laughing), "What about watermelon rinds?"  He said it was possible, but he wouldn't recommend it because it takes too long for it to get busted up and go down.  "Not with all the stuff I put down there with it!" I exclaimed out loud before I could stop myself.  Oops.  Like I said, it is summer.  I've been stuffing cherry pits, strawberry leaves, bad fruit, grape branches... essentially whatever fruit garbage I can stuff down the little hole.  Hey, when the garbage can is full, you've got to do something with it, right?  Oh me.

We Need Some Mucous Videos

Bless their hearts.  Both the J Man and Pretty Girl are learning how to talk.  PG has begun to say things like "house," "hat," "uh-oh," "shoes," "Buzz" (as in Lightyear), "Woody," and "all done" (even when she isn't).  (Can you tell what the J Man's favorite movie du jour is?)  And I have no idea where she got the word "seasick" which she now says every so often.

While the pretty one is experimenting with sounds and single words, the J Man is trying to piece together his own sentences.  He says things like, "J... need to go in the brown car," "J... need to go in the red car," and "J... need to go in the blue car."  Then he changes the subject to his sister and goes through all three again.  When I pointed out that he has blue eyes, he incorporated that into his routine...  "The brown car needs eyes," "The red car needs eyes," "The blue car needs eyes."  (Can you tell what his second favorite movie du jour is?  Hint, it's Cars.)  And although he tries to make complex sentences based on what he hears, he sometimes gets some of the words wrong.  For example, he says, "Yaweh Jacques, Yaweh Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous? So-ma-tina, so-ma-tina..." instead of "Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous? Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!" and "...these guys are profenals.  They're the best.  They're not lie on job..." instead of "...these guys are professionals.  They're the best.  They're not lying down on the job."  (I told you he liked Toy Story.)  But my favorite has got to be when he asks for music videos.  He often gets it right, but sometimes it comes out as "mucous" videos.  Are my kids the cutest or what?

A Very Good Day

Today has started out to be a very good day.  First of all, I got to kiss my kids good morning.  That's always a plus.  Next, I got to see a rabbit in the back yard.  (I love rabbits.)  Then, after I said I love you to my son and daughter, the J Man said, "I love you Mommy" for the first time.  Oh my gosh!  I was on cloud nine!  I had to reach over and give him another kiss.  It is exactly the same way I felt when he gave me that first kiss when he was only a few months old.  He grabbed the hair on both sides of my head and planted his open mouth on mine.  I was so shocked and so thrilled all at the same time.  I don't know if any of you out there have kids, but these are the moments that you treasure forever.

The Chronicles Continue

Oh me.  Well, today I discovered that the second type of door knob cover is no match for the J Man.  He sticks his wee little finger through the hole and turns the knob.  That little sneak.  He was opening the closet door as easily as he can pick up a ball.  Unfortunately, a door knob cover is the only thing keeping him from going down into the basement.  And putting him in the family room is of no use as he can easily hop the childproof gate.  So, Double O Daddy pulled out his trusty screwdriver and swapped the basement door knob with one that locks, putting the locking mechanism on the basement side of the door.  Now, we just need one of those little keys to get down there.  Whew.  Crisis averted.  Well, at least that crisis anyway.  Both kids are now proficient at climbing the steps, but only the J Man has any idea of how to get back down.  Do they make kid-sized hamster balls?

Well, here are two more things I never thought I'd say...
1.  Don't vacuum your sister's head!  (The J Man loves to pretend he's vacuuming.)
2.  Stop laughing and punish the boy!  (You know, it really is difficult to dole out any kind of effective punishment when your husband is laughing.)

Beauty Secrets

I suppose it's no secret that I think my kids are great. They're talented, cute, funny, sweet, intelligent, good looking... But of course, I'm a bit biased. :D When Pretty Girl started smiling and laughing (back at week 1 of her life), I told her that she was pretty and that smiling and laughing made her even prettier. I used to say that smiling added at least 10 pretty points and laughing added at least 50. She must have taken that to heart because she does both most of every day. Since she started eating in a high chair (instead of my lap) and eating something other than milk/formula, I've been picking up on her beauty secrets. They're good for just about anyone, so I thought I'd share them with you.

Pretty Girl's Beauty Secrets

1. Smile.  A smiling face is a lot more attractive than a non-smiling face.
2. Eat breakfast.  She is a good eater, and breakfast is no exception.
3. Eat fruit.  Fruit is good for you and helps keep you healthy while helping you maintain a healthy weight.  But Pretty Girl doesn't care about that.  She just likes the way it tastes, so she has it for breakfast and snacks throughout the day.
4. Eat your vegetables.  She wishes this weren't such an important beauty secret, especially when it comes to broccoli, green beans, and peas.
5. Eat whole grains.  They are often crunchy and feel good on the gums.
6. Drink your milk (if you can).  It's good for your bones and teeth.  She likes hers spiked with a touch of prune juice.
7. Get plenty of beauty sleep.  This not only helps the body by giving it time to repair itself, but it also puts you in a better mood.  And the better the mood, the more you smile.  The more you smile, the more pretty points you have.
8. Brush your teeth.  She loves to do this.  And she giggles whenever she flicks water in her face while playing with the bristles.
9. Clean up.  Being healthy and clean are two ways to look attractive in Pretty Girl's book.  Although I must admit, she doesn't like to see the mouth mop coming her direction after mealtime.
10. Exercise.  Fortunately for her she has the J Man to run after and keep her busy when I run out of steam.  They enjoy chasing each other around the house.  It's great.  They both giggle ferociously.  I am so blessed to have such wonderful kids!
11. Be kind, sweet, and loving.  I tell Pretty Girl that her sweet and affectionate attitude is the biggest factor in making her so pretty.  Pretty on the inside counts more than pretty on the outside. 

Well, there you have it.  Now you know all of Pretty Girl's beauty secrets.  May you be as attractive as she is.

He Can Leap Tall Cribs in a Single Bound

Actually, it's more like climbing I think... or I assume since I've never actually seen him do it. Imagine my surprise when, after putting the J Man down for a nap, I went to check on him because he had suddenly stopped screaming and found him outside his crib. The side was still up. Then again this morning, I went to check on him only to find him at the gate playing with his bouncy balls. So in an effort to keep the boy from falling from such a great height, Double O Daddy converted his crib into a toddler bed. Sure, that'll mean bedtime will only be a suggestion anymore (especially since he can easily reach his light switch), and the mattress has already found it's way off of the springs. I know he could hurt himself on the bare springs, but what else can we do? He's already been underneath the crib and scratched himself several times. In fact, one day I heard him yelp, so I went up to check on him. I had trouble finding him until I heard him yelp again. The boy was stuck underneath the crib caught on one of the wires. If anyone out there knows of any way to coat or cover the springs, please let me know. He's not Superman after all. :)

A Moving Foot Gathers No Moss

Look out world! Pretty Girl is one and she's walking!!! She is so cute, her whole body just grooves when she walks. It is so cool, and she gets the biggest smile on her face when you open up your arms to accept her. It just melts my heart. Life is good--for me at least. Her brother on the other hand, has a lot more to handle now because now, wherever he is and whatever he's into, she's right there on his level in the blink of an eye. And she's almost as big as he is!

She's not the only one with moving feet though. The J Man has picked up some more dance moves. He is quite the dancer. He has been ever since he was in the womb. Whenever I would listen to music, he would wake up and start moving. There's his "Signature" move of shaking his head back and forth (which he has done since he was just a few months old). He's got the "Yeah" move of throwing his head front and back while saying "Yeah, yeah, yeah" repeatedly. Let's not forget the classic "Spin and Hammer" where he spins and does a hammering motion with both arms. And now, he has added "Fancy Footwork" to his repertoire where he moves his feet a few inches at a time in quick succession.

The boy absolutely loves music. Add video and it's even better. The day my hard drive crashed and I could no longer play music videos for the boy had to be the second longest three day span I've had in a long time. He used to only like Novi Ierusalim, but now he's really taken with Go Fish and Miley Cyrus. You should see the smile he gets on his face when he sees her. I was really hoping he would be a little older than two when he first started to get interested in women. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Hiccups and Other Hilarities

Well, if you've ever wondered just what I sound like, you can now listen to me hiccup on YouTube. That's right for your listening pleasure, you too can listen to me hiccup and gasp for air. Ha ha ha. I giggle every time I think about it.

Speaking of funny memories and thoughts... Do you remember when the J Man called me "slow?" Well, this morning I was in charge of getting both kids up because Double O Daddy has the flu. While I was getting the changing station stocked and Double O his ibuprofin, the J Man was in his crib repeatedly saying, "Mommy's slow. Mommy's slow." Oh me. Everyone's a critic! It got to the point that I replied, "Mommy is NOT slow! For all I have to do, I'm a blooming miracle worker!" Of course I said it with a slight giggle in my voice. Ah kids.

Another thing that makes me giggle is thinking about the nap I tried to take on Monday. Double O Daddy was in bed in the guest room sick, both kids were in their rooms playing, and I was trying to take a much needed nap. Well, as I was nodding off, I awoke to the sound of the J Man saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" And I was blissfully beginning to dream about removing the crusties from the J Man's nose too. Ah well. So much for napping.