CAUTION: May Contain Cow Shoes.

God bless kids!  Adults aren't the only ones who make wonderful slips of the tongue.  Pretty Girl, for instance, is quite articulate for her age, but even she is prone to the occasional slip.  Since I have been forced to change my diet (yet again--sigh) I have been eating healthier foods.  As I was pulling out a large container of cashews, my sweet daughter pointed and blurted out "Cow shoes."  I about lost it.  She knows how to say the word, she just mispronounced it that time.  I corrected her, but for the rest of the day she and the J Man were saying "cow shoes" and "dog shoes" which made me absolutely break into giggles.  Oh, bless those kids!

And here's another thing I never thought I'd say before I had kids:
"Get your foot out of his mouth while I'm brushing his teeth!"

Men - What Are They Thinking?!

Of course the same can be asked of women and each individual on the planet at times.  But for this statement, you would think I would have to have a specific instance in mind...  Well of course I do!

As you know, I'm a stay-at-home mom with two wonderful kids  (the rambunctious 3 year old J Man and the lovely soon-to-be 2 year old Pretty Girl) and a husband (Double O Daddy) who works full time at a job that I cannot disclose.  Well, one day, the dirt and clutter in the kitchen was just getting to be too much.  We had just come back from visiting Grandma for two weeks, things still needed to be found and unpacked, the house had not been cleaned in two weeks, crumbs and dust were on the floor, new groceries and unpacked food were on the counters (not to mention sauce and other muck), dirty and newly washed dishes were everywhere... I had had enough!  So, after I fed the kids, I decided to work my way around the counters and then clean the floor at least on one end of the kitchen where the kids didn't go so at least it would stay clean for a while.  Several disinfecting wipes and a good while on my knees scrubbing the grime (that had been there since we moved in) out of the tiles on the floor (which the kids thought was totally hilarious by the way), I was finally done.  That side of the kitchen looked great.  I even got the pile of cereal and dirt my husband had left piled next to the garbage can but had neglected to actually put into the garbage can off of the floor.  I was so proud.  I was beaming with such a sense of accomplishment.  Then, I went and played with the kids.

The next day, I told Double O Daddy all about what I had done and told him where he could find a couple of his items that I had moved.  He said it looked nice.  I even told him how I had scrubbed the floor and where so he could see the difference.  I mean, you could even feel the difference with your feet it was so clean!  I was in a great mood.

Later that day, I went out into the kitchen.  There by the garbage can, I saw another pile of cereal and dirt.  Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!  What on earth was going through that crevasse he calls a head?!  I asked him what he was thinking.  He looked at me with a very smug look as if to say, "What's your problem?" or "Why should this bother you?" and said he Swiffered it from breakfast.  I was so mad.  I told him I had scrubbed that part of the floor.  Wasn't he listening?  I asked him why he didn't use the Swiffer with the vacuum, the one that he bought for the J Man to give me for my birthday last year (as if it were common sense).  He replied that it didn't pick up Kix very well.  I couldn't believe my ears.  He had thought this out.  Ok, so, why did he leave it there?  Did he think it was going to automatically lift itself into the trash can?  Or, was he waiting for me to do it?  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  It was soon accompanied by my hair which I soon pulled out of my head before I beat it against the nearby wall.  What was he thinking?  He was probably thinking that he did me a favor by sweeping it up after breakfast.  *Face palm*  Oh, it's a good thing I love that man.  It's another good thing he doesn't write a blog about me.  *Wink*

Who Would Have Guessed?

As you know, I often refer to my son as a super hero.  Although lately, he's acted more like a super villain.  Yes, it's the terrible twos (and almost threes).  Well, I was somewhat thinking of Pretty Girl as a side kick until she developed enough of her own likes and idiosyncrasies to develop her own identity, and then I would think of a cool personale.  Well, the J Man beat me to it.  My jaw about hit the floor when he said, "[Pretty Girl]'s CIA."  Where on earth did he get that?  Talk about your under cover... who would have guessed?  Instead of a femme fatale, I suppose she'd be a bebe fatal.  But I really don't think she would be a very good baby agent...  I know her secret downfall.  Whenever she's acting up, fussing, or doing something she shouldn't, all I have to do is take one of the kids' little toy cars and start running the wheels over her back.  She instantly stops what she's doing and all is right with the world.  Now, if I could just find the boy's kryptonite...


More funny things we've said...
1. "Don't go up the stairs feet first!"
2. When Pretty Girl ran up the stairs unbeknownst to me (who was downstairs and supposed to be watching her), Double O Daddy (who was upstairs) said, "She found the next gear."  To which I harriedly replied, "What, ninja?"

Fire!

Ah, the joys of motherhood...  It's great seeing the J Man and Pretty Girl grow up.  The J Man has been spouting his alphabet for the past several weeks now.  The only thing is that he keeps omitting his "L"s.  I call him a walking Christmas card.  (Noel, get it?  I know, that was bad.  Anyway...)  As for Pretty Girl, well, she is picking up several new words a day.  They don't all come out as well as "cookie," but we're working on it.  For instance, the word "pistachio" comes out as "pia-ci-O."  The word "vacuum" simply comes out as "cuum."  I guess that's a vacuum that was not made in Virginia.  (Sorry, that was bad too.)  The word that took me the longest to understand however was "fire."  Whenever she said it, I wondered where she had gotten that word, especially since she had never really seen fire.  Then I saw her point.  Duh!  She wanted her pacifier.  Don't I feel dumb! 

Oh, and here's one more thing I didn't know before I had kids:  Mayonnaise is quite an effective tool at keeping kids' hair out of their eyes.  Face palm!  Lesson: be careful what you put on a child's plate.  It is bound to end up in his or her hair.

I sure do love my kids!

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries...

Ah, summer...  Summer for many means heat, popsicles, and all the fruit you can eat.  Here, we've been feeding the J Man and Pretty Girl all the fruit they could possibly want... strawberries, grapes, blueberries, dark cherries, watermelon...  (Oh, and just a side note to anyone else out there who might want to do this with their kids:  Don't be surprised to find a Picasso in the Huggies after the fruit-fest has started.  Wow!)  Even I have eaten so much watermelon that I couldn't stand up straight for hours afterwards.  (And yet believe it or not, I've actually gained weight.  What's up with that?!)  Oh well.  The other night as I was getting ready to head upstairs for bed, Double O Daddy was doing dishes (bless his heart!) and said he thought there was a piece of silverware in the disposal.  I paused.  I knew it couldn't be me because I am so very careful with silverware, sippy cup filters, and the like.  Upon further investigation, he exclaimed that it was cherry pits.  Oops.  That was me.  "For future reference," he said whilst I tried to don a failing innocent look, "cherry pits don't go down the garbage disposal."  Oh me.  I started to laugh hysterically.  I think it was the fatigue.  (I did say I was going to bed, didn't I?)  Then I asked (still laughing), "What about watermelon rinds?"  He said it was possible, but he wouldn't recommend it because it takes too long for it to get busted up and go down.  "Not with all the stuff I put down there with it!" I exclaimed out loud before I could stop myself.  Oops.  Like I said, it is summer.  I've been stuffing cherry pits, strawberry leaves, bad fruit, grape branches... essentially whatever fruit garbage I can stuff down the little hole.  Hey, when the garbage can is full, you've got to do something with it, right?  Oh me.

We Need Some Mucous Videos

Bless their hearts.  Both the J Man and Pretty Girl are learning how to talk.  PG has begun to say things like "house," "hat," "uh-oh," "shoes," "Buzz" (as in Lightyear), "Woody," and "all done" (even when she isn't).  (Can you tell what the J Man's favorite movie du jour is?)  And I have no idea where she got the word "seasick" which she now says every so often.

While the pretty one is experimenting with sounds and single words, the J Man is trying to piece together his own sentences.  He says things like, "J... need to go in the brown car," "J... need to go in the red car," and "J... need to go in the blue car."  Then he changes the subject to his sister and goes through all three again.  When I pointed out that he has blue eyes, he incorporated that into his routine...  "The brown car needs eyes," "The red car needs eyes," "The blue car needs eyes."  (Can you tell what his second favorite movie du jour is?  Hint, it's Cars.)  And although he tries to make complex sentences based on what he hears, he sometimes gets some of the words wrong.  For example, he says, "Yaweh Jacques, Yaweh Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous? So-ma-tina, so-ma-tina..." instead of "Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous? Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!" and "...these guys are profenals.  They're the best.  They're not lie on job..." instead of "...these guys are professionals.  They're the best.  They're not lying down on the job."  (I told you he liked Toy Story.)  But my favorite has got to be when he asks for music videos.  He often gets it right, but sometimes it comes out as "mucous" videos.  Are my kids the cutest or what?

A Very Good Day

Today has started out to be a very good day.  First of all, I got to kiss my kids good morning.  That's always a plus.  Next, I got to see a rabbit in the back yard.  (I love rabbits.)  Then, after I said I love you to my son and daughter, the J Man said, "I love you Mommy" for the first time.  Oh my gosh!  I was on cloud nine!  I had to reach over and give him another kiss.  It is exactly the same way I felt when he gave me that first kiss when he was only a few months old.  He grabbed the hair on both sides of my head and planted his open mouth on mine.  I was so shocked and so thrilled all at the same time.  I don't know if any of you out there have kids, but these are the moments that you treasure forever.

The Chronicles Continue

Oh me.  Well, today I discovered that the second type of door knob cover is no match for the J Man.  He sticks his wee little finger through the hole and turns the knob.  That little sneak.  He was opening the closet door as easily as he can pick up a ball.  Unfortunately, a door knob cover is the only thing keeping him from going down into the basement.  And putting him in the family room is of no use as he can easily hop the childproof gate.  So, Double O Daddy pulled out his trusty screwdriver and swapped the basement door knob with one that locks, putting the locking mechanism on the basement side of the door.  Now, we just need one of those little keys to get down there.  Whew.  Crisis averted.  Well, at least that crisis anyway.  Both kids are now proficient at climbing the steps, but only the J Man has any idea of how to get back down.  Do they make kid-sized hamster balls?

Well, here are two more things I never thought I'd say...
1.  Don't vacuum your sister's head!  (The J Man loves to pretend he's vacuuming.)
2.  Stop laughing and punish the boy!  (You know, it really is difficult to dole out any kind of effective punishment when your husband is laughing.)

Beauty Secrets

I suppose it's no secret that I think my kids are great. They're talented, cute, funny, sweet, intelligent, good looking... But of course, I'm a bit biased. :D When Pretty Girl started smiling and laughing (back at week 1 of her life), I told her that she was pretty and that smiling and laughing made her even prettier. I used to say that smiling added at least 10 pretty points and laughing added at least 50. She must have taken that to heart because she does both most of every day. Since she started eating in a high chair (instead of my lap) and eating something other than milk/formula, I've been picking up on her beauty secrets. They're good for just about anyone, so I thought I'd share them with you.

Pretty Girl's Beauty Secrets

1. Smile.  A smiling face is a lot more attractive than a non-smiling face.
2. Eat breakfast.  She is a good eater, and breakfast is no exception.
3. Eat fruit.  Fruit is good for you and helps keep you healthy while helping you maintain a healthy weight.  But Pretty Girl doesn't care about that.  She just likes the way it tastes, so she has it for breakfast and snacks throughout the day.
4. Eat your vegetables.  She wishes this weren't such an important beauty secret, especially when it comes to broccoli, green beans, and peas.
5. Eat whole grains.  They are often crunchy and feel good on the gums.
6. Drink your milk (if you can).  It's good for your bones and teeth.  She likes hers spiked with a touch of prune juice.
7. Get plenty of beauty sleep.  This not only helps the body by giving it time to repair itself, but it also puts you in a better mood.  And the better the mood, the more you smile.  The more you smile, the more pretty points you have.
8. Brush your teeth.  She loves to do this.  And she giggles whenever she flicks water in her face while playing with the bristles.
9. Clean up.  Being healthy and clean are two ways to look attractive in Pretty Girl's book.  Although I must admit, she doesn't like to see the mouth mop coming her direction after mealtime.
10. Exercise.  Fortunately for her she has the J Man to run after and keep her busy when I run out of steam.  They enjoy chasing each other around the house.  It's great.  They both giggle ferociously.  I am so blessed to have such wonderful kids!
11. Be kind, sweet, and loving.  I tell Pretty Girl that her sweet and affectionate attitude is the biggest factor in making her so pretty.  Pretty on the inside counts more than pretty on the outside. 

Well, there you have it.  Now you know all of Pretty Girl's beauty secrets.  May you be as attractive as she is.

He Can Leap Tall Cribs in a Single Bound

Actually, it's more like climbing I think... or I assume since I've never actually seen him do it. Imagine my surprise when, after putting the J Man down for a nap, I went to check on him because he had suddenly stopped screaming and found him outside his crib. The side was still up. Then again this morning, I went to check on him only to find him at the gate playing with his bouncy balls. So in an effort to keep the boy from falling from such a great height, Double O Daddy converted his crib into a toddler bed. Sure, that'll mean bedtime will only be a suggestion anymore (especially since he can easily reach his light switch), and the mattress has already found it's way off of the springs. I know he could hurt himself on the bare springs, but what else can we do? He's already been underneath the crib and scratched himself several times. In fact, one day I heard him yelp, so I went up to check on him. I had trouble finding him until I heard him yelp again. The boy was stuck underneath the crib caught on one of the wires. If anyone out there knows of any way to coat or cover the springs, please let me know. He's not Superman after all. :)

A Moving Foot Gathers No Moss

Look out world! Pretty Girl is one and she's walking!!! She is so cute, her whole body just grooves when she walks. It is so cool, and she gets the biggest smile on her face when you open up your arms to accept her. It just melts my heart. Life is good--for me at least. Her brother on the other hand, has a lot more to handle now because now, wherever he is and whatever he's into, she's right there on his level in the blink of an eye. And she's almost as big as he is!

She's not the only one with moving feet though. The J Man has picked up some more dance moves. He is quite the dancer. He has been ever since he was in the womb. Whenever I would listen to music, he would wake up and start moving. There's his "Signature" move of shaking his head back and forth (which he has done since he was just a few months old). He's got the "Yeah" move of throwing his head front and back while saying "Yeah, yeah, yeah" repeatedly. Let's not forget the classic "Spin and Hammer" where he spins and does a hammering motion with both arms. And now, he has added "Fancy Footwork" to his repertoire where he moves his feet a few inches at a time in quick succession.

The boy absolutely loves music. Add video and it's even better. The day my hard drive crashed and I could no longer play music videos for the boy had to be the second longest three day span I've had in a long time. He used to only like Novi Ierusalim, but now he's really taken with Go Fish and Miley Cyrus. You should see the smile he gets on his face when he sees her. I was really hoping he would be a little older than two when he first started to get interested in women. They grow up so fast, don't they?

Hiccups and Other Hilarities

Well, if you've ever wondered just what I sound like, you can now listen to me hiccup on YouTube. That's right for your listening pleasure, you too can listen to me hiccup and gasp for air. Ha ha ha. I giggle every time I think about it.

Speaking of funny memories and thoughts... Do you remember when the J Man called me "slow?" Well, this morning I was in charge of getting both kids up because Double O Daddy has the flu. While I was getting the changing station stocked and Double O his ibuprofin, the J Man was in his crib repeatedly saying, "Mommy's slow. Mommy's slow." Oh me. Everyone's a critic! It got to the point that I replied, "Mommy is NOT slow! For all I have to do, I'm a blooming miracle worker!" Of course I said it with a slight giggle in my voice. Ah kids.

Another thing that makes me giggle is thinking about the nap I tried to take on Monday. Double O Daddy was in bed in the guest room sick, both kids were in their rooms playing, and I was trying to take a much needed nap. Well, as I was nodding off, I awoke to the sound of the J Man saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" And I was blissfully beginning to dream about removing the crusties from the J Man's nose too. Ah well. So much for napping.

Faster Than a Speeding Bullet, More Powerful Than a Locomotive, and Funnier than a Comedian...

Ah, kids do say the darnedest things, don't they? The J Man, now two years old, is beginning to have that linguistic explosion that a friend told me his son recently went through. In a previous post, I mentioned that he has named the vacuum cleaner "I-so-po." Well, he has now named one of his trains "A-pa-ka-zar." How did he come up with that? Any way, when he says words like clock, it comes out like "ka-law" because he hasn't quite mastered following a consonant with an "l" yet, and he often neglects to add the last consonant or he adds a vowel sound after the last consonant. So, dog becomes "dog-uh." Enough linguistics! The other day at dinner, he was saying, "Puh-lough" (rhyming with plow). I could not for the life of me figure out what he was saying. Over the course of the meal, the word transformed into "buh-low" (rhyming with low). Then it hit me. When I give him his first several bites, I blow on the food to cool it off. "Blow!" I exclaimed in triumph. He smiled because I had finally understood. Then I proceeded to apologize. I said, "I'm sorry Honey, sometimes it just takes Mommy a while." The next thing out of his mouth was, "Suh-low" which is how he says "slow." I about lost it. Who knew the boy had such a sense of humor at two?! But he is right. I am suh-low, especially since I am a dabbler in linguistics. I have no problem with so many foreign languages, but give me toddler-speak, and I'm lost.

Ode to a Mom
There once was a woman named Flo
Who kept running around on the go
She had so much to do
'Cause her son just turned two
E'en in fast mode she still was too slow

A Free and Easy Way to Feed the Hungry

My Mother-in-law recently came to visit. While she was here, she told me about a website that gives free food to the hungry. When you visit the site, you click on a button. Once you've clicked, they donate a cup of food to the hungry. You don't have to give your name, email address, postal address or anything--just click the button. It's free, it's easy, and best of all, it gives a cup of food to hungry people. The only caveat is that you can only click the button once per day. So spread the word. Here's the website: thehungersite.com.

Stronger Than a Locomotive

The J Man is due to turn two this month; then I can no longer say I have two under two. He has been quite busy lately. If he's not looking at his books, he's busy throwing things or beating his head against something. Well, yesterday it was me. He was upset and beating his head against both the floor and the wall, so I tried to calm him down and soothe him. It didn't work. He reared his head back and cracked me in the head. Double O Daddy grabbed the boy and I grabbed my face and fell to the ground. My glasses were bent and my head was in excruciating pain. (And I thought labor was bad!) Fortunately the J Man was OK. I, on the other hand, am not. It has been over 24 hours and my head still hurts. At least my vision is back to normal. OK, so when the boy grows up a little more, we're signing him up for football.

Also as you probably know, the J Man is quite the little MacGyver/Houdini. Yesterday, while I was waiting for Double O Daddy to get home from work, J Man was in his room, Pretty Girl was in the family room, and I was with her nursing my wounds trying to make sure I could still see straight. Well, when Double O went upstairs to check on the boy, he discovered the J Man standing in our bedroom fine as could be and the gate (the one he had installed across the boy's bedroom door) leaning against the door frame. It had been removed and set back up... by the boy! OK, so not only did he crack me in the head without injuring himself, but he also removed a tightly installed child-proof gate from across his doorway. Well at least he's got his own theme music. *MacGyver music can be heard softly in the background...*

More Things I Never Thought I'd Say

Since I have become a parent, I have said so many things that I never imagined I would ever need to say. I mentioned some in a previous post. Well, here are the latest, and please keep in mind that Pretty Girl is 7 months old and the J Man is going on 23 months old.

1) "Don't de-pants your brother!" (Pretty Girl loves the J Man, so whenever he's within arms reach, she lunges at him and usually gets his pants.)

2) "Stop grabbing my _____." (It's not that the word itself is bad, it's just I'm too embarrassed to type it.)

3) "Don't throw the scooter into the kitchen!"

4) "Stop letting your brother drag you around the family room floor!" (Pretty Girl had lunged at her brother, grabbed on to his pants, and was not letting go. So, when he tried to get away, he began to drag her around the floor before I could get to them.)

5) "Now the key to good kissing is to not bite the other person's lips."

6) "Don't palm your sister's head!"

7) "Stop licking my knees!"

Yes, parenting is definitely an adventure into the unknown and the unthinkable. But I do love it.

Limericks Anyone?

Ok, it's time for a new post. And wouldn't you know, I'm on a limerick kick. So, here goes...

First, some Zelenka ones...

There is a great doctor named Radek
Who keeps his boss Rodney in check
He takes Rodney's rap
Throws it back in his lap
Without him old Rodney'd wreak havoc


For Pookey:
Zelenka's a brilliant young Czech
Who finds Rodney a pain in the neck
I can't blame him there
And I do love his hair
To Atlantis for him I would trek


There was on Atlantis a smartie
Who'd rather play chess than to party
He's sweet and not terse
But in Czech he would curse
When dealing with ninnies like Rodney


For some other Gate Worlders...

Now Pookey has such a cute name
Pyromania, apparently her fame
She's a perky young girl
Who perused the Gate World
While her kitchen went up with a flame


There was a Gate Worlder from Belgium
Who posted that he thought it was dumb
To put out a fire
With footwear attire
And turned his nice sneakers to gum gum


There was a commander named Sil
Showed intelligence, promise, and skill
She took her inhaler
And that really made her
Like Wile E. upon earthquake pills


And finally, some miscellaneous ones.

There was a young woman named Bess
Who wore a pink polka-dot dress
Though her husband complained
In the dress she remained
Divorce lawyers took care of the rest


There was a young piper named Fyffe
Who carried a scabbard and knife
In error one day
The knife he did play
And it most nearly cost him his life


There once was a seamstress named Sue
Whose thread all mysteriously turned blue
She began mending jeans
'Til the holes were unseen
Now seriously, what else could she do?


There was a duck hunter named Joe
Whose finger was terribly slow
His friend told him to fire
So he aimed so much higher
But still shot his buddy below.


I'm crazy, I'm wacko, I'm nuts
No ifs, no ands, and no buts
I went off my rocker
No books in my locker
And I'm spinning around like a klutz


There once was a girl from Paris
She stayed in the bathroom 'til 3
When asked, "What'd you do?
Are things alright with you?"
She simply replied, "Mais, oui oui!"


Ok, I'm done... for now.

If you actually made it to this point in the post, you either like my limericks or you're a masochist. If the former is the case, feel free to visit Stargate LIMERICKS!!! and Zelenka / Nykl Fans where you can find these and more.

Please Support a Worthy Organization

This post will be a little bit different from others I have posted. I apologize for the seriousness of this post, but I am so upset, I don't know what else to do. You see, my husband and I moved into our first house last year. After we got the utilities hooked up and the phone connected, we started receiving calls for the previous owners of our phone number. That is to be expected. And really, most companies are so nice about removing you from their list once they realize that you are not the people with whom they have previously done business. (I mean, it seems silly to renew a warranty on a boat that you don't have, right?)

Well, after a few months, the phone calls ended for all companies except for one, Amvets. Knowing that they are a charity, I tried to be nice. I explained that the people for whom they were calling no longer owned this phone number and that I did not even live on the same street or even in the same part of town that they do. And, I asked to have the number removed from their call list. Each time the person said they would and hung up. (Sigh) Yet the calls continued.

As you know, I now have two beautiful babies under two. If they are not napping, then I am changing them, feeding them, or running after them. It is terribly difficult to get the phone within the first few rings. And whenever the phone does ring, I fear that it might be my husband with something important. Also, since my health is not the best, I hate not to get his phone calls for fear that he would think I were in medical distress. Thus, it is extremely frustrating for me to run to the phone only to find out that it is Amvets calling for the previous owners who have not had this phone number for over a year.

Since my asking the organization to stop calling had no effect, I sent an email to Jim King, the National Executive Director of the organization. Yet I am still receiving calls. I filed a complaint with the Do Not Call Registry and announced my complaint in another email to the NED. Yet I am still receiving calls. I was, however, copied on an email from someone within the organization who sent my issue to someone else. I have heard nothing since, and I am still receiving calls.

The law states that even if your phone number is on the Do Not Call Registry, charities may still call you unless you ask them not to (which I have done repeatedly). As it is, I have never had any dealings with Amvets before. I did not give them my phone number, and I have never given them permission to call me. Even the person who called me today from Amvets said that other people were complaining about being called after asking not to be contacted. Amvets has a problem within their organization that needs to be fixed. And it makes me wonder, if they have these kinds of problems in one area of their organization, how many other problems do they have? Are the donations even doing any good?

As a result, I am asking everyone I know and everyone I can reach to stop donating to Amvets because by doing so, they are supporting an organization that harasses people and shows blatant disregard for the law. And if you aren't donating, you may not want to start. Once they get your phone number, they will never stop calling. Instead, please donate to someone else. There are many terrific charities out there who would gladly accept your support.

You may think I am calloused and maybe even evil by asking people not to support Amvets, but they are driving me crazy. Perhaps I have a low tolerance, I don't know. Regardless, it doesn't matter. The fact is that I asked them to stop calling and they didn't--and won't. Maybe if their donations suffer, they will care enough to fix the problems that they have with their organization.

Again, please support a worthy charity, not one that harasses potential donors like Amvets.

Thank you.

Faster than a Speeding Bullet

As you are probably aware, I fondly call my son the J Man as if he were a superhero. Well, yesterday Double O Daddy and I discovered just one more of his super powers (that is besides his uncanny ability to pull MacGyverisms and Houdini himself out of the high chair straps). We have come to realize that given the right code phrase, our precious J Man is faster than a speeding bullet. Now please note that it is only by using the proper code phrase that our little cherub is able to break the sound barrier. What is the secret phrase, you ask? "Let me check your diaper." (Of course I cannot help but chuckle as I type this.) As soon as I uttered that phrase, his cute little arms came up and he ran for the safety of the corner behind his bed as fast as his little legs could take him. As I began to laugh, I explained the situation to Double O while he was coming from the stairs, so he had to try it. Sure enough, with a puff of smoke, the boy took off for his favorite safety spot.

After trying it a couple more times, Double O Daddy decided to play with the boy and alter the code phrase a little. First he said, "Let me check your diamonds." The arms lifted and he took a step toward his hideout, but then he stopped. Then Double O said, "Let me check your diabetes." Again, the arms lifted and he took a step. Finally, he said, "Let me check your diaper!" and off he ran. Oh man, I absolutely love my kids!

J Man-ese

Wow, the J Man just turned 21 months old last week. Where has all the time gone? Anyway, he finally started saying "No" a week or so ago. Because of that, Double O Daddy is telling people that life as we know it has now ended. But the truth is, he isn't using it in context yet. Yet. (*Chuckle*) He also says it in a sing-songy voice and sometimes with an "m" on the end as if he is saying "gnome."

A few months ago, his favorite phrase was "It's ok" which sometimes sounds like "Isaac A." Today, he has been saying "I say yes." I must admit though that I was most impressed when he started saying "Hop Pop" whenever he wanted me to read him the book "Hop on Pop." He's also been saying "Hop op op oh." Can you guess what that means? I'll give you a hint, he likes Sandra Boynton books. Yes, that means hippopotamus.

The most intriguing word he says is "I so po." I noticed that unlike the other gibberish that he continues to spout throughout the day, he says "I so po" over and over. I figured that it must mean something, so I thought and thought and thought. "It's so po..." "I so po...." What on earth could the boy be saying? Then one day, he stood near the gate, held out his arm, and while opening and closing his fist said, "I so po." Then, I knew what he meant. Do you remember my post on June 3rd entitled "Everyone's a Critic?" Well, since then, the boy has been absolutely obsessed with the vacuum cleaner. It scares him so that he shakes and runs, but he loves it and asks for me to use it every single day. Yes, "I so po" means vacuum cleaner. Who woulda thunk it? I guess the boy is just creating his own language when the actual words are too difficult to pronounce. But what can I say, he comes by it honestly--this coming from the girl who called Pinocchio "Uh luck a luck."