CAUTION: May Contain Cow Shoes.

God bless kids!  Adults aren't the only ones who make wonderful slips of the tongue.  Pretty Girl, for instance, is quite articulate for her age, but even she is prone to the occasional slip.  Since I have been forced to change my diet (yet again--sigh) I have been eating healthier foods.  As I was pulling out a large container of cashews, my sweet daughter pointed and blurted out "Cow shoes."  I about lost it.  She knows how to say the word, she just mispronounced it that time.  I corrected her, but for the rest of the day she and the J Man were saying "cow shoes" and "dog shoes" which made me absolutely break into giggles.  Oh, bless those kids!

And here's another thing I never thought I'd say before I had kids:
"Get your foot out of his mouth while I'm brushing his teeth!"

Men - What Are They Thinking?!

Of course the same can be asked of women and each individual on the planet at times.  But for this statement, you would think I would have to have a specific instance in mind...  Well of course I do!

As you know, I'm a stay-at-home mom with two wonderful kids  (the rambunctious 3 year old J Man and the lovely soon-to-be 2 year old Pretty Girl) and a husband (Double O Daddy) who works full time at a job that I cannot disclose.  Well, one day, the dirt and clutter in the kitchen was just getting to be too much.  We had just come back from visiting Grandma for two weeks, things still needed to be found and unpacked, the house had not been cleaned in two weeks, crumbs and dust were on the floor, new groceries and unpacked food were on the counters (not to mention sauce and other muck), dirty and newly washed dishes were everywhere... I had had enough!  So, after I fed the kids, I decided to work my way around the counters and then clean the floor at least on one end of the kitchen where the kids didn't go so at least it would stay clean for a while.  Several disinfecting wipes and a good while on my knees scrubbing the grime (that had been there since we moved in) out of the tiles on the floor (which the kids thought was totally hilarious by the way), I was finally done.  That side of the kitchen looked great.  I even got the pile of cereal and dirt my husband had left piled next to the garbage can but had neglected to actually put into the garbage can off of the floor.  I was so proud.  I was beaming with such a sense of accomplishment.  Then, I went and played with the kids.

The next day, I told Double O Daddy all about what I had done and told him where he could find a couple of his items that I had moved.  He said it looked nice.  I even told him how I had scrubbed the floor and where so he could see the difference.  I mean, you could even feel the difference with your feet it was so clean!  I was in a great mood.

Later that day, I went out into the kitchen.  There by the garbage can, I saw another pile of cereal and dirt.  Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!  What on earth was going through that crevasse he calls a head?!  I asked him what he was thinking.  He looked at me with a very smug look as if to say, "What's your problem?" or "Why should this bother you?" and said he Swiffered it from breakfast.  I was so mad.  I told him I had scrubbed that part of the floor.  Wasn't he listening?  I asked him why he didn't use the Swiffer with the vacuum, the one that he bought for the J Man to give me for my birthday last year (as if it were common sense).  He replied that it didn't pick up Kix very well.  I couldn't believe my ears.  He had thought this out.  Ok, so, why did he leave it there?  Did he think it was going to automatically lift itself into the trash can?  Or, was he waiting for me to do it?  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  It was soon accompanied by my hair which I soon pulled out of my head before I beat it against the nearby wall.  What was he thinking?  He was probably thinking that he did me a favor by sweeping it up after breakfast.  *Face palm*  Oh, it's a good thing I love that man.  It's another good thing he doesn't write a blog about me.  *Wink*

Who Would Have Guessed?

As you know, I often refer to my son as a super hero.  Although lately, he's acted more like a super villain.  Yes, it's the terrible twos (and almost threes).  Well, I was somewhat thinking of Pretty Girl as a side kick until she developed enough of her own likes and idiosyncrasies to develop her own identity, and then I would think of a cool personale.  Well, the J Man beat me to it.  My jaw about hit the floor when he said, "[Pretty Girl]'s CIA."  Where on earth did he get that?  Talk about your under cover... who would have guessed?  Instead of a femme fatale, I suppose she'd be a bebe fatal.  But I really don't think she would be a very good baby agent...  I know her secret downfall.  Whenever she's acting up, fussing, or doing something she shouldn't, all I have to do is take one of the kids' little toy cars and start running the wheels over her back.  She instantly stops what she's doing and all is right with the world.  Now, if I could just find the boy's kryptonite...


More funny things we've said...
1. "Don't go up the stairs feet first!"
2. When Pretty Girl ran up the stairs unbeknownst to me (who was downstairs and supposed to be watching her), Double O Daddy (who was upstairs) said, "She found the next gear."  To which I harriedly replied, "What, ninja?"

Fire!

Ah, the joys of motherhood...  It's great seeing the J Man and Pretty Girl grow up.  The J Man has been spouting his alphabet for the past several weeks now.  The only thing is that he keeps omitting his "L"s.  I call him a walking Christmas card.  (Noel, get it?  I know, that was bad.  Anyway...)  As for Pretty Girl, well, she is picking up several new words a day.  They don't all come out as well as "cookie," but we're working on it.  For instance, the word "pistachio" comes out as "pia-ci-O."  The word "vacuum" simply comes out as "cuum."  I guess that's a vacuum that was not made in Virginia.  (Sorry, that was bad too.)  The word that took me the longest to understand however was "fire."  Whenever she said it, I wondered where she had gotten that word, especially since she had never really seen fire.  Then I saw her point.  Duh!  She wanted her pacifier.  Don't I feel dumb! 

Oh, and here's one more thing I didn't know before I had kids:  Mayonnaise is quite an effective tool at keeping kids' hair out of their eyes.  Face palm!  Lesson: be careful what you put on a child's plate.  It is bound to end up in his or her hair.

I sure do love my kids!

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries...

Ah, summer...  Summer for many means heat, popsicles, and all the fruit you can eat.  Here, we've been feeding the J Man and Pretty Girl all the fruit they could possibly want... strawberries, grapes, blueberries, dark cherries, watermelon...  (Oh, and just a side note to anyone else out there who might want to do this with their kids:  Don't be surprised to find a Picasso in the Huggies after the fruit-fest has started.  Wow!)  Even I have eaten so much watermelon that I couldn't stand up straight for hours afterwards.  (And yet believe it or not, I've actually gained weight.  What's up with that?!)  Oh well.  The other night as I was getting ready to head upstairs for bed, Double O Daddy was doing dishes (bless his heart!) and said he thought there was a piece of silverware in the disposal.  I paused.  I knew it couldn't be me because I am so very careful with silverware, sippy cup filters, and the like.  Upon further investigation, he exclaimed that it was cherry pits.  Oops.  That was me.  "For future reference," he said whilst I tried to don a failing innocent look, "cherry pits don't go down the garbage disposal."  Oh me.  I started to laugh hysterically.  I think it was the fatigue.  (I did say I was going to bed, didn't I?)  Then I asked (still laughing), "What about watermelon rinds?"  He said it was possible, but he wouldn't recommend it because it takes too long for it to get busted up and go down.  "Not with all the stuff I put down there with it!" I exclaimed out loud before I could stop myself.  Oops.  Like I said, it is summer.  I've been stuffing cherry pits, strawberry leaves, bad fruit, grape branches... essentially whatever fruit garbage I can stuff down the little hole.  Hey, when the garbage can is full, you've got to do something with it, right?  Oh me.

We Need Some Mucous Videos

Bless their hearts.  Both the J Man and Pretty Girl are learning how to talk.  PG has begun to say things like "house," "hat," "uh-oh," "shoes," "Buzz" (as in Lightyear), "Woody," and "all done" (even when she isn't).  (Can you tell what the J Man's favorite movie du jour is?)  And I have no idea where she got the word "seasick" which she now says every so often.

While the pretty one is experimenting with sounds and single words, the J Man is trying to piece together his own sentences.  He says things like, "J... need to go in the brown car," "J... need to go in the red car," and "J... need to go in the blue car."  Then he changes the subject to his sister and goes through all three again.  When I pointed out that he has blue eyes, he incorporated that into his routine...  "The brown car needs eyes," "The red car needs eyes," "The blue car needs eyes."  (Can you tell what his second favorite movie du jour is?  Hint, it's Cars.)  And although he tries to make complex sentences based on what he hears, he sometimes gets some of the words wrong.  For example, he says, "Yaweh Jacques, Yaweh Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous? So-ma-tina, so-ma-tina..." instead of "Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques, dormez-vous, dormez-vous? Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!" and "...these guys are profenals.  They're the best.  They're not lie on job..." instead of "...these guys are professionals.  They're the best.  They're not lying down on the job."  (I told you he liked Toy Story.)  But my favorite has got to be when he asks for music videos.  He often gets it right, but sometimes it comes out as "mucous" videos.  Are my kids the cutest or what?

A Very Good Day

Today has started out to be a very good day.  First of all, I got to kiss my kids good morning.  That's always a plus.  Next, I got to see a rabbit in the back yard.  (I love rabbits.)  Then, after I said I love you to my son and daughter, the J Man said, "I love you Mommy" for the first time.  Oh my gosh!  I was on cloud nine!  I had to reach over and give him another kiss.  It is exactly the same way I felt when he gave me that first kiss when he was only a few months old.  He grabbed the hair on both sides of my head and planted his open mouth on mine.  I was so shocked and so thrilled all at the same time.  I don't know if any of you out there have kids, but these are the moments that you treasure forever.